Pepper is not a good Help Columnist

aaaaaaaaskDear Pep,
my boyfreind dumped me,I dont think I can last another day without him! what should I do?

Well to begin,Quit being so damn Spineless. I bet your boyfreind left you for a brick, cause Its more interesting than you.And dont EVER call me pep.Dont EVER EVERCall me that EVER AGAIN!

aaaaaaaaskDear Pepper,
Every one in my 6th Grade class keeps making fun of me and calling me names ever since the Doctor made me wear a leg Brace!How can I stop them from tormenting me?

$$Grand$Master$Pimpin69$$??!?? Idiot you cant pimp with one leg! HAHAHA! STUMPY!!!!!

aaaaaaaaskDear Pepper,
I recieved laser eye surgery in Mexico, now Im blind in my left eye! How can manage to get my justice?!

At this point, There is no justice for you. Thats right. You will never get Justice. Or sight in your left eye ever again.

aaaaaaaaskDear Pepper,
I have Genital Warts! Help Help Help!!!

NO NO NO! What the hell do I look like? A DOCTOR!? Get your loose self outta mah Face!!!!

aaaaaaaaskDear Pepper,
My good freind is addicted to drugs.He does them right in my face.How can I help him stop his deadly addiction?

Okay listen up JesusJunkie, Next time you see your "freind" Light one up, Shoot him in the Hand, Then point your Automatic firing weapon of choice at his head and say, "If the Drugs wont kill you, I will". Understood? Your freind will be drug free mere seconds!!

aaaaaaaaskDear Pepper,
Why are you sitting around giving advice to people? Go to the Circus and make money like the rest of your kind do

*Pepper is currently unable to answer this, Due to the Fact that She is at his house, Ripping him to pieces as We speak*

aaaaaaaaskDear Pepper,
My house Is Starting to flood! What should I do!?!?!

Well, for Starters get yo ass off the computer, then call 911. there

aaaaaaaaskDear Pepper,
I think I have *deep* feelings for my Future Father...How should deal with this?

                        YOU INBRED LITTLE FREAK!!

aaaaaaaaskDear Pepper,
I really REAAAAAALLY like this boy,but he dosent seem to Notice me!I wear tiny tight black leather all the time but its not working! HOW CAN I GET HIM TO LOOK!! I NEED HELP!

                         Theres this thing called class, use it sometime. It might help. That is,if Iris dosent Rip you apart first.

aaaaaaaaskDear Pepper,
Why arent you a cutsey,sweet,socially balanced,energetic,freindly,open minded furre that wears huge baggy pants,spaghetti straps,baseball tees,Cute sneakers and lots of bracelets&piercings and go to Raves and clubs all the times and Listen to Techno Music?

    Because I dont. now go home. Or to a Rave or Mall. Or Wherever more of your type gather and manifest.

aaaaaaaaskDear Pepper,
before I start Yourr blue and Purple hair is so uuuuugly! ugh! No offense! Im redying my hair for a party what color should it be? (Besides blue and Purple)

    No offense Taken Nina. Why dont you dye your hair Black, that way it can match the color of your eyes and your missing gapped teeth once Im through with you,you little punk.